Education Policymaker Pillows

"Now now Mrs Butterworth, you were warned that there were going to be cuts to the arts and crafts budget."

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'What's play?'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

Budget

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'Lessons have been learned.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

New dunce caps

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

'Honey, the long-run is here!'

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Intellectual bigotry...Go ahead, blaspheme my holy scriptures, the media loves it...'

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

"No textbooks. I'm strictly Web-fed."

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

NO CRT

"What I do is create elegant solutions for problems that don't exist."

Bernie for Labor!

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."

Truth In Education

"Implications of Reaganism."