Educational Play Advocate Gifts

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

Happy kids running abount with a 'Schools out' banner

'What's play?'

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'How's the water skiing?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

Common Core Family Therapy

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Staff Yearbook

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'Stop purring I can't hear your heart beat.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

Another shot heard round the world.

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

Gold versus Knowledge

"Goo-goo, ga-ga!"

"Once I have the motor skills, I'll be knee deep in pudding every. Damn. Day."

"We're doing a skit of Peter Rabbit at school. I'm the potting soil."

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'