Economical Pundit Pillows

'Okay, everyone take out your little phones, use your dictionary app, and find the definition of that unfamiliar word 'profit.''

Hate Platforms

In the Guru District

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

The Shrinking Dollar.

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"Our government is proud announce a whopping 1% GDP growth at the small cost of climate change nearly wiping our indigenous tribes out."

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

How to make crocodiles cry. . .Living wage proposal.

U.S. Credit Rating