Economic Skeptics Gifts

"He said it could be about 45 minutes, due to the global economic slowdown."

How Trickle Down Economics Work

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

'Forget government intervention. Hire a snake charmer has truly worked wonders.'

'As soon as we get some means, we should start livin' below 'em.'

Bank: Deposits Insured by the US Social Security Trust Fund.

EuroPygmees

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'The growing disparity of income is a tribute to our acumen.'

Republican politics!

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

'I've been in Washington for 30 years, and that's the biggest rathole I'VE ever seen!'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

Capitalism gone nuts!

'Employee benefits? Sure, here you are!'

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

'Stocks dropped today, proving once again that life sucks.'

'Are you ready to take a ride on your Presidential yacht? ... We're just loading her up.'

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

If things were going just a little bit better we could have filed for bankruptcy.

Wall Street In Jail

The private sector is a parasite on the economy.

Capitalism

Too big to fail

Dollars Press Conference

"It's good to get hammered by something other than the economy."

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

Assets $2,400,000,000 Liabilities $4,6000,000,000 Government Bailout $2,200,000,000