Economic Hardship Gifts

'You used to be an investment consultant, Fred -- what should I do with this quarter I found?'

'I'm a redundant bank teller.'

'We'll go to Santa's Grotto next year, after the recession.'

'I'm going to have to let you go.'

'Yeah, I got chased from Main and 3rd, but you know, it's not like it's going to change my lifestyle.'

Food Shelf unemployed.

"I've decided to move back in with my parents."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Peter

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

Vulture sitting over a plummeting graph.

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

Sales

'I'm sick and tired of you and your 'get rich quick' schemes.'

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

In Case of Emergency - Break Glass and take a BIG SWIG!

"Generation X, Y or Z? No idea. My brat is Generation SLSLWMAF - Stinkin' Lazy, Still Living with Mom at Forty."

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

'Sorry, I don't do bailouts.'

'Ironically, before I fell on hard times, I was a professional wine taster.'

'Our vows didn't say anything about hedge fund mis-management!'

'She is waiting to be recovered, but financially.'

'Lost my shirt in the market ! Kept some dignity with hat & tie.'

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

"Your money is no longer working for you. It got laid off."

"Homeowner please help."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

In case of insolvency break glass.

"Remember, son, what doesn't kill you, makes you poorer."

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"We can't afford to go on holiday, and we can't afford to stay at home either."

"They've been hard times, Al, but they've been fun times, too."