Eco-luxury Enthusiast Pillows

Bird box with amenities (plumbing, electricity).

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Politically Correct Snowperson

"I love you too, big guy."

God's Subcontractors

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Sale! Weed Whackers

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

Monkey-artist

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

"I think we have run out of time..."

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

Climate Change

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

'The Prom Dress: One Week Later'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"I can’t remember the last time he hugged me!"

"I solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze environmental issues...but being a renaissance man isn't what it used to be."

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'