Eco-friendly Drinker Pillows

'It's a shame that valuable water gets wasted to wash cars or to take showers. It should be used responsible and for useful purposes only - for example to make whiskey.'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"Looks like those folks from 'civilization' are back!"

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Food waste with recycling symbol

'Did you just hear that? We are now and endangered species and mating is now our top priority!'

Beer Parasol.

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

Redhead

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

Vegetarian Nightmare.

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

"You had me at alternative milk."

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."

Recycling bottle bank.

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

'Could I have the traditional Christmas dinner but without meat or dairy and could guarantee it's organic and GM free.'

"Strictly organic ingredients section or Russian roulette with genetically modified foods section?"

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?