Eco-debate Champion Pillows

'My dad's no dummy. He knows using 'plastic' is bad for us. I convinced him that we should use paper and go 'green'.'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

America Finally Solves the Gun Problem

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Healthcare declaration

A young positivist.

'I don't get it, Victoria. . . why are men in control of everything?'

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

Children arguing over the name of a fish

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

Bailout, Poverty, Environment, Peace - Money for the needy.

"This swamp is much too beautiful to drain.".

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"