Eating Out Excited Gifts

A man wearing a sandwich board, reads note: 'Gone out your dinner is at Joe's.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

The Fourth Little Pig

'Your French dip, sir.'

'A cheeky red?'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Fast food. Even faster food

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'