Eating Out Excited Gifts

A man wearing a sandwich board, reads note: 'Gone out your dinner is at Joe's.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'A cheeky red?'

The Fourth Little Pig

'Your French dip, sir.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Fast food. Even faster food

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"You owe me five bucks."