Eating Out Explorer Gifts

'How is this a 'sports restaurant'?'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

6 Brothers Falafel

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Haute Chinese

Platter confusion.

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

Bottomless bowl of soup

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

"More croutons, sir?"

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"You were right-we should have just split one."

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"Yum! I should have ordered dessert, too—can I try yours?"

Hot Rinzelophtats

'I like a table next to the action.'

Pizza London Eye

"Guys, guys! He's pointing at me! This is great, I've never been picked first before!"

"That's $3.50 for the dog plus 75 cents toxic cooking water disposal surcharge."

Did you slice this beef? You nearly missed.

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

Waiter to diner: 'I'm going to return you to the main menu.'