Eating Enthusiast Pillows

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

Come dine with me!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Life is for the birds.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Domestic Goddess.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Try to guess the continent dining...

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Party time.

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'