Eating Enthusiast Prints

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

Come dine with me!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

Life is for the birds.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Domestic Goddess.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

Baker Romance

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"