Eater Outer T-Shirts

"Anything to accompany a stale marriage?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Today's special... donuts.

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

All Natural Nothing

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"I believe I'll skip the appetizer. I ate the flowers."

All-Day Breakfast

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

Peas on Earth.

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

Access Denied!

Well, O.K., so you found fast food, but what's the hurry?

Overzealous health inspectors.

Eat 'n' Pay 'n' Get Out Restaurant

'Are you ready for dessert?'

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

An apple a day!

'I think we should eat out in the hotel tomorrow dear.'

'Is there a money back guarantee if the burrito isn't as big as your head?'

Molecular gastronomy.

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

'You order the jumbo combo?'

" Actually, Dear, I said I wanted to start eating 'all natural, not 'au naturel'!"

Cafe Jelly, Set Lunch

Endangered Entrees

Go large or go home!

We'll pass on the entrees...

Health Foods; "When did I ever eat back pain and trigger fingers?"

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'