Easy Fitness Seeker Pillows

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Are You a Quarathlete? Nifty Exercises You Can Do In Lockdown

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

"To be honest...if it wasn't for the dog I wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Late Bloomers

"10,000 steps a day? I can do that."

'Don't worry. His diet's only last a day or two.'

'Consider it part of a stimulus package. Do a good job cleaning out the gutters and you get the hole box.'

Books or Junk Food.

"Well we COULD tell people to eat less and exercise more, but where's the money in that?"

"I'm telling you, you need to try interval hopping."

Tandem cyclists

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

'What you need is some negative growth.'

"Pace yourself, Mother."

"Why do you call it a thyroid problem when it's been giving me an excuse for the 20 pounds I gained this year?"

Low fat diets.

'Do you want a fright with that?'

'Diets are easy, I've been on loads of them.'

Obese man wearing a T-shirt with 'Too Big To Fail'.

How much did you lose on your 14 day diet?

"Does skipping breakfast count as both exercise and dieting?"

'You need more exercise Mrs Pilchard. Why don't you take my dog for his walk?'

"Why don't you lose weight?"

'No thanks: I'm more of a sprinter than a jogger...'

Weight washers.