Easy Fitness Seeker Pillows

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"It seemed like miles to me!"

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Are You a Quarathlete? Nifty Exercises You Can Do In Lockdown

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

Advanced aerobicizers wait till after class to aid the fallen.

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

"To be honest...if it wasn't for the dog I wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

Late Bloomers

"10,000 steps a day? I can do that."

Books or Junk Food.

'Consider it part of a stimulus package. Do a good job cleaning out the gutters and you get the hole box.'

"Well we COULD tell people to eat less and exercise more, but where's the money in that?"

'Don't worry. His diet's only last a day or two.'

'Relax! I just read somewhere that 142 pounds is the new 125!'

"I'm telling you, you need to try interval hopping."

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

"Pace yourself, Mother."

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

Tandem cyclists

'What you need is some negative growth.'

"Why do you call it a thyroid problem when it's been giving me an excuse for the 20 pounds I gained this year?"

Low fat diets.

'Do you want a fright with that?'

Weight washers.

'You need more exercise Mrs Pilchard. Why don't you take my dog for his walk?'

'Diets are easy, I've been on loads of them.'

Beginner Level Escalators

"Does skipping breakfast count as both exercise and dieting?"

How much did you lose on your 14 day diet?

"Why don't you lose weight?"