East Meets West Enthusiast Pillows

"I understand that your chakra may be 'out of alignment', but can we check first if your broken arm might be causing your pain?"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I still plan to be a cowboy when I grow up. If I'm going to service my share of the national debt, I might as well have fun doing it."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Vlad the Inhaler

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

Dawing your Cellphone

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'Anyone who opposes the plan I'm about to propose please signify by saying 'I resign.''

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Responsibility and duties

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"Next meeting back to paper. Everyone missed doodle."

Conference Pears

"Unlike other companies, we are going to take the high road through this rough time, even if, at some point, we're obliged to raid the employee pension fund! Is everybody clear on that?"

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"