Early Years Enthusiast Gifts

"You're crazy! I'm sitty on my butt till they make me stand up."

A midwife holding a baby

A Preschool of Fish

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

"They look so young and helpless."

First Word

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

'At first it's just kindergarten, but then mission creep takes over and you're in college.'

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

Abacus.

"Nice to have you all back at school, tap-tap, there are lessons to learn."

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

"Every time I tie my shoes, the laces come undone...I think it's a conspiracy!"

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

Who's a cutey?

The History Teacher

Ethics ethics.

'My parents didn't want me getting left behind in the system.'

History. The worst past is my dad says they're still making history!

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

'Do your homework! - You gotta learn math if you want to be a bookie!'

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

"For today's lesson, you're going to teach me about pronouns."

'I'm sorry Mrs. Jackson, but when you've become as excellent of a teacher as you are, you've forfeited your right to retire.'