Early Bird Empath Gifts

'Showing up early just makes matters worse. Now I feel more alone than ever.'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Licensed Therapist

Future garbage truck driver.

Bird Tweet.

Toast: the high energy food

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

So Far So Good

"I hate 2:00 am feedings."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"Hey, it's 5 a.m. somewhere, am I right?"

'Mom, Dad, this is Jennifer. We met early one morning and fell in love.'

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"Are you ready for the working breakfast?"

"Early Bird, you need to go easy on the worms."

"Your boss wants you in early for WHAT?"

"Mine is a dairy farmer: He's up way before dawn every day..."

'The thing that really bugs me, Louis, is whether veterinarians are psychiatrists.'

"You should have been here at eight o'clock."

"Why so sad, Pal?"

"I'm sorry, but you have to be here the minute the doors open if you want worm."

"So remember, this is a cape, not my napping blanket that I forgot I was still wrapped in because I woke up five minutes before we left the house."

"And now here's Jerome with an overview."

'... And this is one of the artist's early pieces.'

"Don't you have a snooze button?"

'We'd like you to continue with your 6 am appointments until we find out what's making you tired!'

"I like getting to work on time. I just wish someone was here to appreciate it."

'Oh yeah? Try to sleep in when your dad is a rooster!'

"It looks as though it's going to be one of those days!"

'I take it you're not afraid of early hours.'

Hi, this is click-whistle-chirp. Hi. … wait, who? Did you know humans are not the only sentient species on earth? Almost every species is sentient, contrary to thousands of years of racist propaganda. They think, they feel pain, they act with intent, they feel emotions ... especially the octopods. Never get on an octopus's bad side. House of Java Cybercafe. They've just never felt the needs to speak human languages before. Before? Before what? ... Wait ... am I talking to a dolphin? The sentient

The Early Bird

Come on sun! I know you can do it!

'The problem with being a kid is that the hours are lousy.'