E-cuisine Explorer T-Shirts

"Your dinner is at www.Icouldntbearsed.com."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

La Table

'Like death by salad.'

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

Our visit to the flan factory.

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Before/After

Important Food Groups

Your lobster was off!

Sauce for the Goose

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"