Dynasty Detective Gifts

"Do you have anything positive on the Kennedys?"

Family Ties

'It's not cheating...My king is Henry VIII.'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"It seemed like a long timeout."

Three-dimensional, eh --- What makes you so spatial?

Unusual Offers

Bush farewell.

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'A mother complex! Are you sure?'

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

The US Abandons the World

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'But what do you sell?'

New World Order Bridge

Vladimir Putin as Uncle Sam

Cut-Rate Think Tanks - Now available for hire.

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

"It says God created heaven and earth, then there was light. Why didn't He do it the other way round, when He could see what He was doing?"

"So in other words, we're hoping to discover what makes the nitty, gritty."

'Ah ah! That's what I thought! The DNA tests prove that he is in fact a Cuckoo chick...'

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'

Political Science

Britain in 410AD

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST, 'He wants to be a cop!'

"The election result was predictably unpredictable."

Iran-nuclear power

"Take this, Saddam! And this! Well, I hope it hurts, man! No mercy!"

'... And he has a real 'Jekyll and Hyde' personality! '

Gladstone's message that the British people would not support Turkey against Russia in the Balkans

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

'Kenny,your mother and I have decided it's time you knew the truth - you're adopted.'

"They all lead back to this ball of yarn."