Duct Tape Aficionado T-Shirts

'I realize you're attached to your car. However, when it's being held together by duct tape, it's time to buy a new one.'

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

'You have fifteen distinct personalities, all of which require a gadzillion rolls of duct tape.'

'Our repair success record is as good as duct tape.'

Saint George and the Drag Queen

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"Staff are always complaining about supposed bureaucracy, but if no one completed form M74/cd3 then how would we know how many M74/cd3’s had been filled out!"

'Kleinzweck has a theory that the strong nuclear force is actually tiny rolls of duct tape.'

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

'Ok, there's some duct tape. Are you happy now, Mr. Prima Donna?...'

A day at the UN.

'Does he mean before or after the needs survey?'

'Building Inspectors During Their Off Hours.'

Leading Economic Indicator.

"Jenkins, rumor has it there are people outside this meeting who are doing actual work. Go find out."

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

'I thought I'd take the train to avoid the congestion charge.'

Open Mic

Ducttape Man! I'll mend your broken heart!

'Duct tape.'

"I really believe red tape is the future!"

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

'I don't accept your insurance but they say anything can be repaired by duct tape.'

"We'll get that infected tear duct fixed up in no time."

"Thanks to this innovative, state-of-the-art communication system, we can now support an even slower bureucracy'"

"They're not happy about it, but we made a scheduling error and the customers are expecting a drag brunch."

Bureaucrat

Great moments in duct tape history: Kittyhawk, 1903

'Of course 'I'm an ugly bloke in drag'. Why do you think they've kept me locked in this tower for all these years?'

'Before recycling, try duct tape'

"We are planning on thinking about setting up a preliminary consultative group to consider getting together to start working out where 'there' might be."

"Your appointment's at 2:00 but you'll need to be here by 11:00 to start filling out the forms."

Legal books - Unwritten laws available on audio cassettes.

'Federal Communications Commission - May I help you?'