Duck Dodger Pillows

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

Hunter hits duck with ejected shell.

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

Nun Binning the Devil

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

Health

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

Also I don't like coffee, so I'll be working through my coffee breaks.

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

The Demon's Disguise

'Instead of brushing my teeth can't I just chew on one of his dog biscuits?'

Drones Unlimited

Revenge of the Mallards.

"Accursed global warming!"

Winter depression.

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"

'Careful, it might be a trap...'

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

"If this meeting becomes too heated, we'll create a distraction...like running out the door."

THERE IS A MOUSE IN THE HOUSE... WHERE IS THE CAT?

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

'Crystal! You didn't duck and cover! If this wasn't just a drill and I had been a real deranged fan, you'd be soaked in beer right now!'

'That's my accountant - he figures out my points total on ducks.'

Mountaineer dive-bombed by bird

'He's countering your right by throwning a left hook, crossing his right over your left jab, and upper cutting you when you work to his body...from where I stand, Tiger, you better STOP throwing punches.'

"I see Rover has introduced himself to you?"

L-L-L-L-Lobster Face!

"Sorry, Cruz, I flunked my history test...and now I'm grounded."

'For the last time, Ken, I did not back over anything! You're imagining things! ... Now get out of the cart, wade into that pond and retrieve your ball!'

"If my wife calls, I'm at the protest."

"O.K. Here comes one now...you get the first shot!"

'Notice how the brown of the pants nicely picks up the brown of the dogshit on your shoes.'

Extremely Lactose Intolerant