Dry January Participant Pillows

The Janopause

"I wish I'd never started Dry January."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

30 Days Has Movember

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'Jason and the Argosnaughts.'

My dad's doing flowers for a huge sweet 16 party. Everyone's invited except me! Who cares? It's probably some loser who couldn't get anyone to come over without going over the top. Thanks, Em! You know what's important. Plus! We'll figure out whose party it is and crash it! You're my spiritual guide.

Soho walking society

"I am in training for the sales."

How to wear a false moustache.

"As soon as the leaves turn, my hair goes crazy."

His movember moustache made him feel very distinguished.

"...Apparently we're responsible for snow removal on that stretch of highway we adopted."

Giant sale - 'Sorry Luv - that's the last one.'

January Sales

Holidays are Here, Think!

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

New Year's Resolution. . .

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

'Could you put me into an induced coma for four weeks?'

"I'm getting not-so-subtle hints of Dry January remorse, envy and resentment."

"This Dry January thing is going to be a real challenge."

'Okay ladies, husband's credit cards at the ready. On your marks, get set...'

"I'm skipping 'Happy Hour,' Carl—it's Friday night—zen tennis clinic at the shul."

'Someone call a doctor, Bob's had an art attack!'

Skin cells "My skins really dry today" "Tut! astringent,astringent,astringent!!!"

Cats on social media

'Mine's the same, Bert - d'you suppose the Sales are on?'

Begging for Upvotes

"Water feature, water feature...."

'I can't stand much more global warming.'

Fashion Victim.

'Transfer every penny from my joint account to a safe deposit box until Thursday when the sales finish!'

Water is protected within a safe.

"Help the poor kids or help the poor workers,poor stockholders, poor venture captialists..."