January Joiner Pillows

New Year's Resolution. . .

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

The Paper Route

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

"However good father's 'beaver-o-matic' was..."

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

The Janopause

"I am in training for the sales."

'Amen will do ... You don't need to do the wave.'

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

Giant sale - 'Sorry Luv - that's the last one.'

'Now we can receive e-mail!'

"I'm having a dry October. . . October 2045."

Old man learning to ice skate

January Sales

'Be wormier!'

Holidays are Here, Think!

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

'Could you put me into an induced coma for four weeks?'

'I read the Club's constitution and then realized I did fit the entry criteria, so I decided to join...'

'I belong to so many book clubs I no longer have time to read!'

"This Dry January thing is going to be a real challenge."

"Billy, if you want to join the Spanish Club, that's cool. In fact, we can make you a member right now."

'Transfer every penny from my joint account to a safe deposit box until Thursday when the sales finish!'