Drumbeat Joker Gifts

The heart is like a drum kit, Mr. Fusco. I should be hearing paradiddles. Yours seems to be throwing in the occasional rim shot for comedic effect.

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

Günter Grass

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'Yup, cannon in D.'

'I'm surprised the boss isn't in here checking up on us!'

Toilet humour

Here lies BoBo the Clown

Adult Absence Notes.

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

Ha! Musical fruit my patootie...

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

No infrastructure problem here

The Cartoonists

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'

Shenanigans at the Leper Colony.

'A room with double beds, please.'

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

A dog banging a snare drum.

"I'm going to have to ask you to accompany me to the Police Station!"