Drug Dealer Pillows

"I still enjoy running my winery, but these days my real passion is the meth lab."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

That's supposed to say garage sale!

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

Sale.

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

Half-Price Haircut and Half-Cut Price Hair.

Pizza Special: 5 Pizzas for $50 (Limit 4).

'hold the blog - I got a bargain in the sales'

"I'm innocent. I've just never been able to pass up a good plea bargain."

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

"I give you the seven-billion dollar pup, then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup."

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

The Bargain Brand

Boomerang Sale! - No Returns

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

Black Friday

"As you know we've made a lot of acquisitions lately, and the last one we made seems to have resulted in us buying ourselves."

'The gas bill is a lot bigger than usual.'

Rare Books / Exceedingly Rare Books / Never Published Books

'This is wonderful. It will help millions of people.'

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

"Well, the drug's no good, but the side effects are bitchin'."

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

"How much is the sign?"