Driving Student Gifts

"When I let out a blood curdling yell and scream 'Jesus Christ you're going to kill someone' I'd like you to apply the brakes..."

'Kid, you flunked the driving test. But you get high marks in audio system tuning, cell phone fumbling, and GPS fiddling.'

'Was that a red light? You should know that it is highly unethical to take liberties just because the instructor is drunk...'

'That's not what I meant by dipped headlights.'

"And remember, the hand position on the steering wheel is 10 & 2, 9 & 3 and 8 & 4.""

Distracted Driver

'It's the first time I've been asked to do this in the middle of a driving test. . .'

'They can also be used to keep an eye on the traffic around you.'

'Now, Mr Jones, I'd like you to hotwire the ignition.'

'You would fail Mr Burns! What have you forgotten. I will give you three guesses.'

"At the next planet I'd like you to press destroy."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"Why do they do that?"

Thru versus Through Traffic

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

"I need to tinkle."

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

Please Drove Carefully.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Cats on Board.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"