Driving Date Humorist Pillows

'How come I never get to drive on our dates?'

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Do you have anything that would make him seem like a self satisfied pig?"

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

He's Tasty!

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

Speed Checked By Radar.

Dear Diary....I'll never, ever, go on a blind date again!

'I don't usually find worms attractive,but as soon as I saw him I was hooked!'

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

"You will let me know if I'm boring you with my little stories, won't you dear?"

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

Motorway lane for 'Pricks and idiots only'.

'I've been glamped!'

"Why do you think cool cars are lame?"

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

"Suddenly I can't think of anything to chirp."

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

'To hell with high gas prices!'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

I brought a little ice breaker.'

"What I don't like about the military is all the emphasis on winning."

"Taking leftovers home, again?"

Detour 50c.

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

'The dating agency matched me up with my avatar.'

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

Chief, call you back. Something's come up.

This lane reserved for average persons only.