Drive-putt Strategist T-Shirts

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

And if the ball is completely unplayable...

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"This is a fast-paced job you're applying for...what are your goals...where do you see yourself in the next 10 minutes?"

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Corporate pirate.

'It's good to see Dad keeping his mind active.'

Man with Sword in Penholder

Boxing Trainer: 'And watch out for this fella. He has a huge Left Hook.'

"Come on, Lucky Lady!"

"I'm in advertising. . ."

Boxing

The strong corna war

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

'Governor game change and his replacement debate moderators...'

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

'Motion seconded!' (golfers)

"Duh!"

'After all these years of purposely losing to the boss, I beat the pulp out of him and turned in my resignation.'

"I'd fire him in a minute, but the old man thinks we need his unique perspective around here."

"Why are you playing hide-and-seek in the stove!?! Don't shush me! This is my stove!"