Drinks Diplomat Gifts

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

Israel/Palestine Conflict

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

'...It's O.K. hon', it's just the third world.'

Thanksgiving Family Get-Togethers

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

EU

Militant Pacifists

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

Landing That Tough Account

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

More Excuses to Stay in Afghanistan

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

"Why did you start this war, you lousy, democracy-obsessed Nazi!"

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

"In his spare time, Milton dabbles in foreign policy."

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

Liberia is left behind by a car guided by the 'Road Map To Peace'