Dating Diplomat Gifts

'They're lovely, but I want you to know I never say yes on first negotiations.'

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'At first I was grounded, but my lawyer was able to plea bargain it down to 30 minutes in the Time Out Chair.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"So a play date next Tuesday, okay? Have your people call my people to set it up."

'We think he has a future in politics.'

Set of scales with white family on one side and black people on the other.

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

'You'll want Mr. Pigglesworth's version of the story too, I assume?'

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

Landing That Tough Account

"She called me immature, And if that wasn't bad enough, she burst my bouncy castle."

Excess Baggage: If you can draw, you don't have to know the local language.

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

'I'm NOT being a tattle-tale! -- I'm being a reliable source!'

"You can't have it both ways, kid."

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

American Eagle and the Dove of Peace

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

Mixed marriage: food fight

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

"I sure hope the negotiations go well."

His side of the bed, her side of the bed, and the demilitarized zone.

Frank Hires a Relationship Coach.

The Manager's Wife.

'Three things I don't think we should talk about ... politics, religion, and everything else!'

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

"Is this the table with a complaint?"