Drinks After The Game Pillows

"He couldn't sink that last putt, so now he's trying to drown it."

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

Beer Order

Professional woman in pub

"Could I have a Tommy Tippee cup for my friend's beer, as he's been using a concrete breaker all day."

"My boss said I have narcolepsy. She could have waited to tell me after I woke up."

"Your shout!"

"You want real pressure?!! Try where I work."

Whack A Soul.

Dog fetches dice

'A Fucking Drink'

'Make it four beers and an '02 Brunello di Montalcino, if you've got it, for you-know-who.'

Congress today convened a special panel to study use of illegal performance enhancing drugs on the senior Scrabble tour. Members of Congress expressed outrage that such a national pastime could be sullied by fiber doping. Their anger led to an angry exchange with one witness. Hey Congress, here's a four-letter word … Turn off her mic.

sports bar buffet : Hotdogs/pizza/Corn-on-the-Ty Cobb

Limbo Day at the Palace

"Held up at work? You could have called."

"So if you don't want to know the World Cup results look away now until July 16th."

Reminder from my Telebartender. Gotta go!

Old Fred's Seat

Acme Instant Muscle Ade Machine

'Before I throw can you tell me if my feet are behind the line?'

'I know, I know. You're stripes. I get it, already.'

Alligator drinking Gatorade,

Cowboy Darts board: 'DRAW!'

Herb knew that his only chance was to get the guy drunk, and then make a break for it.

"Compliments of the gentleman at the end of the bar."

I know we just lost! We're throwing him off the top of the stadium!

'Now that's what I call a trickshot!'

'I fold!'

Alligator drinking gator aid.

"Got any Gatorade? I'm a racing pigeon."

"I told you to be careful with that five hour energy stuff!"

"... Oh, he's the fastest in the west alright... The fastest out of the saloon when it's his round!"

'Oops sorry, but it is such a big target'

"I know . . . your job's a pressure cooker. So will tonight be natural or quick release?"