Dresses Gifts

THE LANGUAGE OF PROM DRESSES

Elegant woman in backless dress.

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Glenda, for the 100th time you can not buy the red dress! Put away your bank card now!

Red and Yellow dress

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

Bear Costume

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"This is daring, but I like it."

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

"I was almost that last year."

Advocado

Useless add-ons.

Dog Dressed to Eat

A couple dressed as a knife and fork

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

'I'm not playing 'Bride and Groom' unless you sign this pre-nuptial aggreement!'

Two circus clowns see each other dressed for a costume party.

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

"How soon will this be a remnant

"Of course I'm dressed like a cheap w***e! It's Halloween! Duhh!"

Masquerade

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

Changing Room Decisions

Tiger Costume

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

Bearded Leftie.

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'