Dream Watcher T-Shirts

Debbie attaches her husband to a proprietary dream monitor to make sure he doesn't cheat on her in his sleep.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

Tree house.

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

Spiro & Pusho and the Scavenger.

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

'Och lye the news'

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

Dreams I have had...

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

Aim for the Stars, Settle for an Asteroid

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Angry Squirrel Can't Get to the Bird Table.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

'The birdseed's okay. But I just like driving 'em crazy.'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

High Pants/Low Pants.

Scales