Dream Job Joker Pillows

"My whole life, …. I've never wanted to be anything other than a psychiatric patient."

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

"The pay for field testing our new lures isn't much, but you get to keep all the fish you catch."

"See how it feels"

Happy New Year...we feel a little overtime won't hurt you.

"At the moment I'm torn between the emotionally rewarding but poorly resourced role of a social worker or a more intellectualy rigorous career in quantum physics."

'I don't know what happened. He was hired as a consultanat, but he evolved into a kibitzer.'

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

"Oh, a resume is not necessary. I know all about you."

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

Just a little heads up!

'Our retirement program is that you can resign whenever you want to.'

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"Dislocating your jaw yawning during my lecture on work related injuries is NOT a work related injury!"

"This is what you call doing what you love."

'Sorry, we just filled our Financial Analyst position, but we do have an opening in Sacrificial Lambs.'

How do fish get to work?

"My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references."

Sit and Deliver

'I may not have the skills or education for this position, but I do understand the cartoons in the The New Yorker.'

"Dad, now can I be a fireman?"

'There's been no confirmation, but the possible merger of two giants has sent stock prices soaring.'

'I haven't gotten to your story yet. I'm laughing at your resume.'

'Me? I'm just visiting from the company next door.'

"Make a bet - in a few years, your little boy will be the class clown."

"May I ask why you have 'inspired by true events' on the top of your resume?"

Software for the small businessman

'What about short-term? Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"Testing the "I could do this job in my sleep" theory."

"Thank you for computerising the company - you are now obsolete, Goodbye."

"Naps. Do you have anything in naps?"