Draft Detective Gifts

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"They grow up so fast."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

A boy acting suspiciously

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"It seemed like a long timeout."

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

Clive couldn't work out who was stealing office equipment...

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

Micro and Macro Department,

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

Don't forget to read the small print.

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

'Nothing this week †between your pay and your deductions, you broke even.'

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

Devil in the detail

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

'Talk about paranoid. He reads the fine print on his money.'

When pedants take a break.

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

Good Cop, Bad Clown: 'Ok, ok I'll tell you what you want! Just make that creepy clown stop staring at me!'

"We need to talk about procrastination."

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

'...and then you smile and say...all together now...'that's not deductible.'.'

"When the IRS sees your deductions they'll get a good laugh!"