Dough Whisperer T-Shirts

"You're not getting my secret bread recipe. You're on a strictly knead-to-know basis."

'I like making pastry. It gets your hands clean.'

"Your kneads? What about my kneads?"

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

Self Raising Flour

I bake my own bread

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Critisize your weight.

Doughboy Dad

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

Daisy Diaper Service

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

Post Game Day Betting.

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

"Where do you see yourself in the next twenty minutes at 375 degrees."

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"The downside of living in the wild is that I need to shear myself now. Boy, do I now appreciate the skill professional shearers have: it's hard!"

Maternity ward on the farm.

'Let the ball do the work, son.'

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

'How can it be whole if the wheat has been ground into a powder?'

A mutant, possibly evil, ear of corn.

A baker with HUMONGOUS hands kneading dough has a tattoo, 'Born to Bake.'

"There's no such thing as 'just' ducky."

'I'll leave a path of bread crumbs in case you need to find me.'

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

'Looks like you're having a pretty good season, eh Ben?'

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

Knead Dough? Apply Here!

That elusive Pecorino!

"We can't break the laws of nature, the workers can only lay a maximum of one egg a day: To increase production, you need to recruit..."