Dough Whisperer Mugs

"You're not getting my secret bread recipe. You're on a strictly knead-to-know basis."

'I like making pastry. It gets your hands clean.'

"Your kneads? What about my kneads?"

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

Self Raising Flour

I bake my own bread

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Critisize your weight.

Doughboy Dad

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

If that call's for me, I'm not here.

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

Daisy Diaper Service

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

Post Game Day Betting.

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

"Where do you see yourself in the next twenty minutes at 375 degrees."

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

Maternity ward on the farm.

'Let the ball do the work, son.'

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

"The downside of living in the wild is that I need to shear myself now. Boy, do I now appreciate the skill professional shearers have: it's hard!"

'How can it be whole if the wheat has been ground into a powder?'

A mutant, possibly evil, ear of corn.

'I'll leave a path of bread crumbs in case you need to find me.'

"There's no such thing as 'just' ducky."

A baker with HUMONGOUS hands kneading dough has a tattoo, 'Born to Bake.'

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

Knead Dough? Apply Here!

'Looks like you're having a pretty good season, eh Ben?'