Dot Decoder Pillows

"How the heck do I know what the password is? That's just a line of flippin' dots!"

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

'This graph may need some explaining...'

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Paw readings

DIY horror.

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

'People who can read Venn diagrams...'

Information vs. confusion

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

"We're going to play the boss's favorite game - 'pin the blame on the scapegoat.'"

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

Siggy

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

'I got rid of those funny little spots in front of my eyes. Now what's bugging me is a buzzing noise in my ears, like somebody sawing logs.'

"So what's the emoji for 'low-hanging fruit?'"

"I just had a communications nightmare! I dreamt that the postal workers were on strike, the internet was down and someone had eaten the carrier pigeons!"