Dot Decoder Prints

"How the heck do I know what the password is? That's just a line of flippin' dots!"

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

'This graph may need some explaining...'

"This connect the dots is taking FOREVER!"

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

Paw readings

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

DIY horror.

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

'People who can read Venn diagrams...'

Information vs. confusion

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

"We're going to play the boss's favorite game - 'pin the blame on the scapegoat.'"

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

"I hope this makes it clearer!"

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

Siggy

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

Before graduating, students at Flegburn High were required to read their diplomas out loud.

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

"So what's the emoji for 'low-hanging fruit?'"

"I just had a communications nightmare! I dreamt that the postal workers were on strike, the internet was down and someone had eaten the carrier pigeons!"

'I got rid of those funny little spots in front of my eyes. Now what's bugging me is a buzzing noise in my ears, like somebody sawing logs.'