Dot-com Dreamer Pillows

E-Business Convention

John Lee Dotkomm palys the 'Broker's Blues

We have an all volunteer workforce, and we're still losing money!

Appeals

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

Barcode Dreams

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

Money Plant.

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"You're just gaming down there? Shouldn't you be issuing your first IPO for some billion dollar internet enterprise you've created?"

S.S.dot.com

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

"We'll analyze the only thing left to analyze: what people throw away."

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

"In pre-school I was an overachiever. Now, in first grade, math is threatening my reputation."

'I shall now hand over to our guest speaker, management unit XT-56.'

'Much to his disappointment, Thag's coffee percolator was an invention ahead of its time.

"Let's all sing our theme song: 'I Love Venture Capital'."

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"So, gentlemen.... By investing in this time vortex manipulator, we will be able to cross the bridges before we come to them."

'You see a bunny, I see an off-site system maintained by a 3rd party providing storage, processing power and computer applications.'

"C'mon. Just one more round of funding and I'll build you a horde that'll knock your socks off."

"Moreover, profits double if we move in with our parents."

"Sorry guys, but your 'magic mind-reader' doesn't seem to be working."

"Buy my data $20"

"I had a wonderful dream that Anonymous turned out to be me."

"Get out of the way! The transport vehicle of the future is about to overtake you! Soon everyone will have one!"

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

"I can't afford an iPad so I just glued Apple logos on the back of all my books."