Doorway Etiquette Explorer T-Shirts

The real reason men hold the door for women.

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Emergency exit into Space

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

'Outside with that!'

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

Politeness opens doors

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

"Good evening, Sir. I’m Ian, your server with a serious attitude."

"Yes, it's snowing in my office. Corporate feels utilities, like heat, are a luxury."

Cannibal Moms : "Remember kids, no dessert until you eat all or your vegetarian!"

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

'Yeh right! Always blame the dung beetle!' - An elevator mishap.

"I want to vacation where we can look at something scenic from some place climate-controlled."

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

Open entrance door to find exit door directly behind it.

'Remember, it's not just gimme. It's please gimme.'

"Not quite – one ankle on top of the other!"

"Sorry, but I didn't switch from unsanitary handshakes to fist bumps just to start group hugging!"

Dog urinating standing up.

'Curiosity'

"Looks like beach weather."

"They say you're supposed to listen to what your body is telling you."

The Cold Shoulder: 'What do you give the Cannibal who is late for Dinner?'

"What have you done?"

". . . And let's try not sniffing EVERYONE'S butt tonight."

Popular methods for getting the check

'Mind if we play through?'