Door-to-door Daredevil Gifts

Roy's no soliciting signs.

"Bad things happen to people who don't buy my cookies, Sir."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"I am not asking for directions."

'What a time to return from climbing! There's not way your coming into this house tonight.'

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

Another blind date ends badly for Jimbo the Clown.

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

Papa's Pizza delivered in under 30 minutes.

The Difficulties of Transporting Boats

"Great - really great - but I'd still like to get out of the house every once in a while."

Watch overhead if you want to improve product delivery. Bridge financing could figure.

"He's a loose cannon with nothing left to lose, but he's the best damn file clerk I've ever seen."

'Personally I was happier before we branched out into courier services.'

Prune Eating Contest: Last Man Standing.

'Almost done.'

"You know, Larry, you really don't have to carry that thing around to tell "knock-knock" jokes."

'Next day to the coast! You must be nuts!'

"Do you have experience delivering anything other than eggs?"

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

'You want to run that by me again?'

Work Du Soleil

"Would you like to buy a candy bar to help us raise money for our social security."

The Emersons at Home

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

'It's another canvasser dear'

"If Carlo can't maintain a better on-line profile, he'll just have to go..."

"I've been to college, but I'm selling magazines to pay off my student loans."

"And now let's practice risk management!"

Extreme Accounting!

Jumpin' Jehoshaphat's Witness. (Published previously on March 18, 2008.)

'I'll cook it, if you'll do the washing up afterwards.'

'We're doing batch uploads today.'

"I didn't go to work today. I gathered firewood instead."