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Clinic For Those With One Leg: Wipe Your Foot.

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

"It's beautiful. I'm just not sure it's $800 beautiful."

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

Mice 25¢

"Does it come with magnets?"

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."

'Gurkenman! The fact that you've got a height-adjustable desk does not mean that you've been promoted into a higher position!'

Wall Cluck.

Lin-Manuel Miranda

Napkin Cole

Smaller shoe being built onto a shoe house.

"My meeting take away was this chair, what did you get?"

"These were taken on some of my favorite layovers."

"I finally figured out what was causing my backache. You know that fancy modern office furniture I ordered a few weeks back? I just realized. I've been sitting on the wastebasket."

"And what do you think will happen if you do get on the couch?"

"You rang?"

Lawn Furniture/Yawn Furniture.

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

'George's poltergeists are terribly clever, they assembled the coffee table for us.'

Woodpecker Carving Chair out of Tree.

'An occasional table... what is it the rest of the time?'

Rep-Tiles.

'No, I don't think you're a mental case, Mrs Clydehopper. Then again, this is a furniture store, and I'm a salesman...'

'I said he needs an ambulance! Not ambiance!'

Fur'niture

'Days until miminimalism is over and we can get our things out of storage...'

'When I asked for something woody with a great finish, they said I should try the paneling department at Home Depot.'

'I miss my water bed.'

Oooh! That's handy (Pulling draw out of chest).

"This is our trainee model for incoming school administrators."