Door Decor Critic T-Shirts

"The sign's superfluous. That door's locked and bolted."

Postman's Knock.

"The knights of the round accent table"

'...Couldn't you just get pictures for your desk?'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Macho man body building club.

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 2)

Reason # 23 that doors don't make perfect seal against winter winds: Mischievous unemployed elves.

Ooo, I love that you kept all the exposed fossil.

"You rang?"

'...And this property has wall to wall gravel...'

Sale: All Doors Massively Reduced!

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

"We've decided to express our concern for the environment by redecorating."

The Great Out-doors

'I forgot to close the door?...Seriously? Who puts a door on a hole?'

"Okay, take in the new Persian carpets and the mahogany furniture and if you need more space throw out the big plants and this ugly old thing."

At death's door

"Let's explore why you detest my throw pillows."

'It's hard to have confidence in a doctor whose office plants don't look very healthy.'

Evolving Door.

Beware of Static Electricity

When bargain hunters crack.

'You know I don't like saltboxes!'

X-Ray toilets.

Man sat on egg-timer toilet

'Poor Oog -- he invented the door, and locked himself out of his cave.'

Bob's Apartment

"I like looking at amateur porn, because I like seeing other people's apartments."

'I'm not so confident in this doctor. Did you notice that his plants don't look so healthy?'

'Bathrooms. I'm returning it. It's too tight.'

"I remember when walls weren't so bossy."

The best way to teach the cat how to read?

It's A Footstool! It's A Hassock!!It's... OTTOMAN!!!