Doomsday Humor Fan Pillows

Out to lunch.

'It's going to be one of those days.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

Night of the Zombonies.

The Brothers Grime

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

Apocalypse Research Center

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

The bird feeder.

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

"Fish finder."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"Can you keep a secret?"

"So! When's the big day?"

"Buster, run this past legal."

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'