Domestic Sitcom Enthusiast Gifts

TV Dinner.

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

"I don't know if I can do 'Gilmore Girls' today. I'm not sure I'm feeling up for anything involving witty yet poignant repartee."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'It was a very strange divorce — the judge got custody of my wife.'

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

'Harold, I told you not to eat the last piece of pie!'

"Being married to her was the most miserable experience of my life, but I was able to develop a sitcom out of it."

Bunny TV.

"C-Span is our reality television."

'That's not funny, Fred.'

"This now concludes our broadcast day."

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

"No, Barbara, this wouldn't make a great 'Seinfeld' episode!"

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

"Could you speed it up a little, the 'Seinfeld' marathon starts in five minutes."

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

Life is better with a laugh track and graphics.