Domestic Satirist Pillows

"Well seeing as you treat it like one, mum and I thought why not."

'I knew something was wrong when the dirty dishes kept piling up in the sink.'

"Of course you've never had a car accident, we never go anywhere."

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

Man put's up his wife's picture - driving a nail through her head.

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

Woman Ironing Contraceptives.

"He doesn't even try to get wooed by another!"

"This is our lazy Susan. We had her on the dining room table but she was just always in the way. So, we moved her in here."

'Oh, it doesn't shoot real bullets, only tranquilizers. I'm expecting my husband home any minute.'

"Of course it's me! You were expecting maybe the Messiah?"

"In case you're interested, I'll be in the basement preserving resentments for the winter."

"I'm sorry, dear, but you know how I feel about intra-marital sex."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Nation-building never works."

"You're fired."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Flags

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're on a what?!"

'You can just forget about the cake.'

The International and May Day Terrorism

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

The economy.

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"We won!"