Domestic Humorists Pillows

His and Hernia's towels.

"Add Your Own Caption Week # 222"

"Man's best friend indeed."

'I couldn't get Mr. Right, so I took Mr. What's Left...'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Take me to your Larder!"

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"Mulch madness"

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"And I suppose you forgot to bring home the milk."

'I'm not going to remind you again, Harold. Now, go get the garbage and bring it in here.'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

'How many times do I have to tell you about putting the toilet seat back up?'

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'