Domestic Humorists Pillows

His and Hernia's towels.

"Add Your Own Caption Week # 222"

"Man's best friend indeed."

'I couldn't get Mr. Right, so I took Mr. What's Left...'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Take me to your Larder!"

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

Yard Sale

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"Mulch madness"

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

'Harold, I told you to take out the trash!'

"The blow drier is broken."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'How many times do I have to tell you about putting the toilet seat back up?'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman