Doggy Bag Diva Pillows

A woman holds a sling which has her dog in it.

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

Why Poodles Become Killers

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

Bernice Mountain Dog

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

Lady drinking Champagne.

What female dogs think about their looks.

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

A day at the races

Cats and Dogs.

Barbara Cartland

Bun Lift

"She's a model dog, alright. When she's not on a catwalk, she demands a lot of attention, requires constant grooming, and is a picky eater."

"Too goth?"

Poovis: Half poodle/ Half Elvis.

Village Pet Shop.

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

"I won't need a doggie bag."

"That's a plumage don't."

"Can you loosen it a bit Andre, I can't close my eyes"

"I'm a rockhound."

Triceratops - "A Turtleneck? You couldn't get me a shirt with buttons?

'But I must have bone! I need incentivising.'

Fashionistas 2012 - 'I'm Rapunzel!'

'Okay Floyd. You know what to do. And make it ridiculous.'

"Can I have the "dalmatian look" please?"

"He won't wear the sweater I crocheted for him."

'We should have never named her, Queen.'

Good Hair Day

A dog gives a woman a birthday card while she plays a harpsichord.

"Have you been giving the dog a make over again?"