Doggie Foodie Gifts

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"You keep impeccable time."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Dog Food

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"I can never remember, how much do we tip?"

'Rover is sulking because he helped bag the goose and all he gets for dinner is dog food.'

Dog Chow Mein

"For what you are about to receive..."

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"He won't wait for me to open the can."

'I pity the poor schlub whose job it is to make that call.'

"Oh sure, I spoil him. But, he always has my back."

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

"This makes a nice change from 'Fetch'!"

'Dang! Oh well, I won't have to feed him for a year now.'

"I'm getting a little peckish. Hey! How dare you ignore me. I don't care if I have to go out or not, I'm waking you up at 4 a.m."

'So you want two opposable thumbs so you can open your own dogfood?'

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'

"Wait! I forgot the garnish."

Limits of Canine Philosophical Inquiry.

'Cannibal.'

"Have you got a book about the proper way of feeding a dog?"

'I'll take your word for it that dog food tastes good on crackers.'

'I can understand my mother and my first-grade teacher being there, but there's also a TV announcer who does dog commercials and a second-string catcher for the Detroit Tigers.'

"We call him 'Leftovers'."